Last week was a bittersweet one for me. I went on very quick road trip with Richie to handle some business in Texas, where I was born. Although we were there on business, we took some time to try and visit some places from my childhood in Dallas, and some touristy things for Richie. It was bittersweet because on our way we stopped in a little town named Sulphur Springs, population 15,000, and every bit of the stereotypical Texas that people commonly see the state as. Although I know both sides of Texas; the major metropolitan city of Dallas that is progressive, and then the very ‘red’ rural side.
There’s no doubt that 2016 will go down as one of the worst years ever for America, and many other places around the world. This year we lost so many prominent faces to addiction, mental illness, and natural causes. People who were forces in their own rightful arenas. We were also either one side or the other from a toxic and dividing political election that pitted friend against friend and relative against relative. I ended up being on the losing side of things unfortunately, in more ways than one.
PRINCIPLE III: RIGHTLY TELL MY RECOVERY STORY – I TURN MY PAST AND PRESENT OVER TO GOD TO COMPLETE MY FUTURE LIFE’S WORK.
Finding it in ourselves to forgive others for their transgressions against us can be one of the hardest things to do in recovery. I myself have had trouble forgiving others for the things done to me. It is really difficult to let go of those things by forgiving them when it seems like the unforgivable was done against us. We need to realize that it is not about them, it’s about us. Forgiveness is a wholly selfish act, in a good way. It is self care.
Forgiving others is to live by Christ. We were forgiven, so it is our duty to forgive others. This does not mean you have to forget, but it frees you of the emotional attachment of what was done and allows you to move on from it. You are closing out a chapter in your book called life. When we hold on to past issues involving someone we build up anger and resentment. This can easily lead to sinful behavior.
I found it very hard to forgive one particular person in my life for years of emotional, mental, and verbal abuse. It took me several years to muster up the strength to forgive that person, but when I did, I felt such a relief that I could close out that part of my life. It doesn’t make up for what was done, but it does allow some freedom.
Far from a secret, and part of my bio line on all my social media profiles, and the front page of this blog, is the fact that I am gay and Christian. I only hid who I was for a few years when I figured out I had an attraction to guys but also believed in God. Those years were tough and confusing, but I hadn’t felt the same disconnect as when I “came out” to the church and people. ( I really don’t like that term because I don’t feel as though gay people should have to come out, because it’s just simply a part of who they are, like straight people don’t “come out”)
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