So, the first meds I was put on didn’t work. I saved disclosing what the medicine was until I knew how it affected me personally. Also to avoid all the horror stories and caution from others. I wanted to rely purely on my psychiatrist’s recommendation. I was placed on a different medication today, so I am ready to talk about the last one now.

I was placed on Zyprexa. It was supposed to help balance me out some. All it did was create an insatiable appetite. I put on a few pounds this last week because of it. I know, I could use some weight. I hear it all the time. It’s just as bad as mentioning an overweight persons weight over and over again as if it fixes it. I am clinically underweight because of medical issues. (This is a post for another day though). Anyways, I ate everything under the sun. I was so hungry, but I didn’t feel my moods change at all. I know it can take a while for medicine to kick in, but the lack of any other side effects made him decide to put me on something else.

I’m taking the same route this time. I am choosing to not disclose the new medicine until I have had a chance to see some changes in myself, or if the psychiatrist decides to put me on something else. This game of meds is frustrating. I wish it were easier to find the right mix of drugs to help. This far along in studies and research, there should be some way to style the right cocktail sooner in a diagnosis. (Please don’t come at me with big pharma bs, it will fall on deaf ears).

I know I am early on in the hunt for the right meds, and some people have been in this turmoil for years, but it effects me just the same. It infuriates me to no end that there is no easy answer.

So, as I journey into yet another pill to address my bipolar disorder, remember that my(and other peoples) moods aren’t always in their control. Not just because of the bipolar disorder itself, but also because of the medicine we may be in as we work to find a good balance for ourselves. Be patient with people, because you never know what might be going on.